Ode to the Working Mom

Motherhood holds an immutable sanctity in the life of any woman. The whole process of bearing a child and nurturing him or her through childhood is fraught with challenges for working women. Being an HR professional, one often comes across myriad stories of women as they strive to balance societal expectations and their professional responsibilities. Below are a few such anecdotes –

A senior woman recently noted –“Nowadays women treat pregnancy as an illness! After all it is a beautiful period in your life and should be enjoyed to the fullest, not submerged in panic and medication.” With increasing stress, erratic food habits, long hours of travel, pollution and late pregnancies, there are often complications, which are difficult to manage with a grueling work schedule. However, as the medical leaves increase, so does the perception of work being less important, percolate among the colleagues. Even months before a lady proceeds on her maternity leave, often there are less important tasks assigned to her.

When the time comes to apply leave, extended maternity leave policies are definitely a boon. After all, the discretion of the most supportive manager in granting leave is subject to business conditions which may be non-conducive to an extended duration of absence. In a fast changing context, a period of 9 months is like an indeterminate stretch, during which the working environment is liable to drastically change. When a new mother returns, the previous manager or HR team allocates a suitable role based on her prior experience. While today’s market conditions generally warrant a constant requirement of people, many roles may be out of bounds because of the nature of work, travel and so on.

In my interactions, the predominant reason for a working mother to resume work and then resign emerges as the child’s health. Many new parents find themselves struggling between the hospital and the workplace, with medical bills competing with their salaries! I knew a lady who had scouted all the hospitals in the city for her child, but after 3 months of recurring illnesses, decided to leave her child with her parents in another city. Many working couples with hitherto similar career graphs face a perceived choice – continuing the mother’s immediate career over their baby’s health.

Quality day care continues to be a challenge in many large cities even today, despite a significant population of women working. Without a significant employee base, an in-house company crèche is not viable. Tie-ups with existing day care centres are thus common, but many new parents find the cost of quality day care prohibitive. Those who can and would like to afford it may not find a day-care near their homes or en-route office! In many metropolitan cities be in Mumbai, Bangalore or Chennai, trustworthy maids are an expensive rarity too, which leaves one with few options if grandparents are not around. Last (or perhaps first) is the challenge of the mindset to overcome apprehensions like – “My child is too young to put into a crèche or daycare, maybe when he / she is older and more independent”.

Once the choice is made, many women complain that getting back on the roadmap is difficult. There is a sense of having missed the bus as male peers may have moved ahead into bigger roles. In middle management, a critical mass of women managers is still lacking, and the norms of networking and growing into the next role, like evening parties, directly conflict with the time for home. Many senior leaders may perceive women managers as being less ambitious and aggressive, imperative qualities for moving into the next league. Women too introspect with thoughts like – “What are my priorities? Do I really want to make certain choices at this stage of my career? What gives me greatest satisfaction?” and the answers may be counter-intuitive!

Given these odds, here’s kudos to all the working mothers who continue to balance their careers with their personal priorities. It is a challenging experience and one can but hope that many more women join into this league of extraordinary women, which will enable organization cultures to transform into a gender neutral experience!

Romance at Work

It is said that love knows no context, and Cupid can strike one just about anywhere. So, in today era, where a large population of our youth is working long hours, the office is indeed transforming into a hub for romance. This phenomenon is particularly prevalent in IT organizations, where the majority of the workforce has just stepped out of college. Hence visit any IT campus, and there are definitely some dating pairs which can be spotted, exchanging shy glances, or holding hands, or simply sitting at the cafeteria to spend time with their loved ones.

There are 2 aspects which pose as a breeding ground for romance – having a lot of free time, or having a lot of working time with the same close group. Both these instances are found in plentiful measure with many employees deployed in trainings for skill building or be on bench without deployment, and find themselves with a bundle of time on their hands. On the other hand, those working long hours with only their own team to meet a tight project deadline, colleagues may indeed slowly transform into friends, close friends, and perhaps even more.

There is mixed opinion about the benefits of workplace romance. On one hand, it indeed improves morale and retention of the individuals concerned, since they get to spend a large portion of the day together. Even if they belong to different projects or functions, nothing beats sneaking out at 3pm for a quick coffee with your beloved. One can also assume that since both partners belong to the same context, they would be more understanding and appreciative of each other’s professional commitments.

The flip side of office romance is when the relationship doesn’t work out. While there are those rare mature individuals who strictly demarcate their professional conduct and personal affairs, there are also many heartbroken lovers who may choose to continue bestowing their affections even when not reciprocated, much to the chagrin of their manager. If such behavior continues, a harried HR manager does step into the picture to reinforce behavorial norms.

On the other hand, any office couple who are completely engrossed with each other, sitting too close, taking too many breaks together can often create a detrimental environment for other co-workers making them uncomfortable. When such behavior is also observed by the senior management or customer it reflects poorly on the manager, as it indicates a loss of productivity, and thus, such situations are best when nipped in the bud.

In an age when mobility of employees is a fantastic strategic advantage, if one of the partners is transferred to another location, it is often expected that the other partner too would be transferred. Woe if the location is in an onsite geography, for matching the role in one single location with the skills of a particular individual can indeed be a nightmarish challenge.

Last but not the least, there is the convoluted question of morality. If one knows that a married colleague is having an affair at office, what should one do? The office is a forum for employees to use their knowledge and abilities to further organizational goals, and ideally, it is irrelevant what sort of societal or ethical role the person assumes. However reality is often more complicated, and the tendency to pass judgement onto one’s colleague is often found. Handling such situations can indeed be tricky.

So go ahead and romance away at the workplace, but without forgetting that work comes first at the office, and love can only finish second place.

Gratitude

Why are some people more grateful than others? Why are some companies more grateful than others? Most people don’t feel indebted for the salary they earn, but for the small things they don’t expect. Therefore one way to generate more gratitude is to give more positive surprises to employees. Many companies plan and do things exactly to ‘avoid’ surprises! Probably that is what is creating a deficit in gratitude. Of course, planned communication is essential for any large organization to sustain, and essential for many organizational programs to be successful. However, such programs never make a person feel indebted towards the organization.

When you think about it, gratitude often follows a spontaneous gesture. This naturally means that organizations can do little to institutionalize it, no process can possibly work. But by unobtrusive and diligent efforts, it is indeed possible to develop a culture of gratitude. Take the example of a “thank you” card, which can be distributed among employees who can appreciate and say ‘thanks’ to anyone at the workplace - their colleagues, bosses and subordinates. The person receiving a “thank you” card is always pleasantly surprised and displays it proudly at his workplace for everyone to appreciate! It often brings out many unspoken words of appreciation from random people, which the recipient was completely unaware of.

Do you remember the day when you first joined your organization? Chances are that you do, but often it is an unimportant date for your family. How would you feel if a bouquet of flowers arrives at your doorstep the morning you exactly complete five or ten years with the organization? Your wife may discover the bouquet and read out the card congratulating you on the long tenure. It is a moment of unexpected joy, which lingers long after the promotion and hike cycles are gone.

Most employees at the workplace know what to expect every day as they go to work. They are aware of all the policies, how the business is doing, and the everyday issues with the customer. But what if there was a trek to look forward to over the weekend, or a cricket match with colleagues? Or they had been teaching at a local municipal school over the last few months, and the results of their exams were out? When there are different options for one to feel involved, one begins to look forward to work, and there is a sense of balance and well-being.

One is always grateful when treated with empathy and consideration. Once, an employee within 1 month of joining a company was diagnosed with cancer. The conventional medical insurance would not cover the cost of treatment. The easiest decision for this organization would have been to let him go. But this organization extended full support taking up all the medical expenses over ten lakhs as well as gave him leave till he recovered for over one year. He continues working there till date, a staunch advocate of the company with all colleagues and friends!

The magic of gratitude lies in how it can spring from the simplest of events and yet leave a lasting impression. Hence hefty budgets or elaborate plans might fail, but spontaneity, empathy and fairness in everyday activities that touch our lives can make a huge difference. When employees are grateful towards the organization, they reciprocate the same emotion in their work, and everyone benefits! As Cicero wisely put it- “Gratitude is not only the greatest of all virtues, but the parent of all the others!”